Sometimes you just get in a funk. Sometimes it's hard to find the motivation, to do the things you really want to do and know you should be doing. Sometimes, you go to bed every night hoping the next day is better, only to find a seemingly new set of issues for you to sort through. You're not defeated. You're just slowing down your pace a bit, to gather your thoughts and gain the energy to take it all on.
I found myself in this funk before Summer ended a few weeks ago. I had been in Canada for the entire summer, spending every day alone with my three boys. Fabulous right? It actually was! Really, I loved it! We stay in an amazing location, with an incredible view. I walked my boys to the beach several times a week this summer and ate ice cream almost daily.
What could be dreamier?
Typically when I move to a new place, I am eager to discover all there is to do in my new land. I talk to as many locals as I can while out with the boys, finding out the best spots.
Oh, rest assured, I have followed the same pattern this time. I have a running list on my phone of places to see and things to experience here in the Pacific Northwest.
But, you could find me instead watching the Nanny McPhee movies. In the middle of the day...
Crying at the part when the naughty children have learned all their lessons and they love her so and don't want her to go. Then she reminds them in her fabulous English accent, "When you need me but do not want me, I must stay. But when you want me but no longer need me, it is then that I must go".
My only reasonable explanation for this is:
I'm home sick.
A feeling I don't relate to often. Not that I don't love home, Dorothy was absolutely right, "There is no place like home."
I guess I rarely find myself homesick because 1. We move together as a family and that's all you really need right? and
2. I love adventures! I was born a free spirit! Even as a youth I was often questioned by my parents why I couldn't just stay home and be. Well of course because there is too much to see and do and too many people I need to know and learn about!
There is no obvious explanation to an outside person that I should suddenly find myself terribly homesick here on this great adventure in Vancouver, especially since moving is all I have done for 7 years straight. And not only does my mind wander to my home and not to mention, real shower in San Diego,(my shower here literally drips water) but actually all the way back to my younger years. I have been desperate for my Grandparents these days. Going to church here in White Rock B.C., among mostly elderly folk, has me aching for my childhood summers at the farm with Grandma Eileen and sewing little scraps of fabric at the feet of Great Grandma B. Or, on the patio listening to Grandma Burke tell me story after story, while she rocks away in her wicker chair.
There is just something about these days that have things all out of whack!
Let's be honest, there is the undeniable fact that transitioning to new places, can throw you for a loop. It can happen in the first month, first week, or maybe its the 8th week. The fact that you are away from your comfort zone and starting anew will catch up.
The first time I moved away from home, (not to be confused with moving away for college no more than 2 hours away)but for real, moved away from home, across the country, to another state, for a real job, I met Jennie Mathison.
I was a new mother to my sweet Ty Ty. I was barely 24 years old. John had just been drafted to the Miami Dolphins and life was nothing short of exciting. We bought our first new house and started a new adventure together… across the country in South Florida, which is basically South America...
Jennie was assigned to me as my Visiting Teacher.
Visiting Teaching is a program in our church where the women in the congregation are assigned other women to look after and serve where needed. I am convinced that we would have been friends regardless, but I learned why Heavenly Father placed her in my life at that specific time.
Jennie, is a seasoned mover, and although that didn't mean much to me at the time,
I quickly found out just why I needed her then.
Our promising, bright future in South Florida was about to come to an end, and send us on the journey of our lives living all around the country,(and now out of the country) changing environments every 6 months, as John played for different teams and trained in San Diego in the off season.
While Jennie's husband Art served in the Army for 20 years, they moved 9 times around the U.S. and once in South Korea. Living in each location any where between 1-3 years. Now I've learned from experience, that it takes a good year to get "settled" somewhere new, so you can imagine how many times she and her family adjusted to a place only to have to uproot again.
I have the utmost respect and admiration for their family for the obvious reasons that they sacrificed so much for our country, but there are qualities behind a dedicated and devoted wife of Lt. Colonel, that I only hope to be able adequately portray.
When I think of Jennie the word selfless is forefront in my mind. Not only does she support her husband in all his personal and professional pursuits, but she is a phenomenal mother to her three children. She supports them in their passions but beyond that, truly dedicates her time and purpose to being their mother. She jumps right in and serves wherever she is needed, as was demonstrated when she lived near me for only 11 months and immediately took an interest in me and serving me as my visiting teacher. She is the most pleasant, and genuine person you will ever meet. She truly lives the motto, "Bloom where you are planted," and because she is that person I took to heart what she taught me, one day through conversation.
She said, "I always tell myself each time I move, that this time I will not let myself get into a moving slump, and each time, no matter how hard I try, it comes anyway."
In times like these, I like to remember her saying that.
Jennie Mathisen, in all her pleasantness and genuine positiveness. She gave me the ok to allow myself that time, just to get my ducks in a row and to adjust. To be in a moving slump. To know I'll eventually come out of it, and bloom when I'm ready.
I'm home sick.
A feeling I don't relate to often. Not that I don't love home, Dorothy was absolutely right, "There is no place like home."
I guess I rarely find myself homesick because 1. We move together as a family and that's all you really need right? and
2. I love adventures! I was born a free spirit! Even as a youth I was often questioned by my parents why I couldn't just stay home and be. Well of course because there is too much to see and do and too many people I need to know and learn about!
There is no obvious explanation to an outside person that I should suddenly find myself terribly homesick here on this great adventure in Vancouver, especially since moving is all I have done for 7 years straight. And not only does my mind wander to my home and not to mention, real shower in San Diego,(my shower here literally drips water) but actually all the way back to my younger years. I have been desperate for my Grandparents these days. Going to church here in White Rock B.C., among mostly elderly folk, has me aching for my childhood summers at the farm with Grandma Eileen and sewing little scraps of fabric at the feet of Great Grandma B. Or, on the patio listening to Grandma Burke tell me story after story, while she rocks away in her wicker chair.
There is just something about these days that have things all out of whack!
Let's be honest, there is the undeniable fact that transitioning to new places, can throw you for a loop. It can happen in the first month, first week, or maybe its the 8th week. The fact that you are away from your comfort zone and starting anew will catch up.
The first time I moved away from home, (not to be confused with moving away for college no more than 2 hours away)but for real, moved away from home, across the country, to another state, for a real job, I met Jennie Mathison.
I was a new mother to my sweet Ty Ty. I was barely 24 years old. John had just been drafted to the Miami Dolphins and life was nothing short of exciting. We bought our first new house and started a new adventure together… across the country in South Florida, which is basically South America...
Jennie was assigned to me as my Visiting Teacher.
Visiting Teaching is a program in our church where the women in the congregation are assigned other women to look after and serve where needed. I am convinced that we would have been friends regardless, but I learned why Heavenly Father placed her in my life at that specific time.
Jennie, is a seasoned mover, and although that didn't mean much to me at the time,
I quickly found out just why I needed her then.
Our promising, bright future in South Florida was about to come to an end, and send us on the journey of our lives living all around the country,(and now out of the country) changing environments every 6 months, as John played for different teams and trained in San Diego in the off season.
While Jennie's husband Art served in the Army for 20 years, they moved 9 times around the U.S. and once in South Korea. Living in each location any where between 1-3 years. Now I've learned from experience, that it takes a good year to get "settled" somewhere new, so you can imagine how many times she and her family adjusted to a place only to have to uproot again.
I have the utmost respect and admiration for their family for the obvious reasons that they sacrificed so much for our country, but there are qualities behind a dedicated and devoted wife of Lt. Colonel, that I only hope to be able adequately portray.
When I think of Jennie the word selfless is forefront in my mind. Not only does she support her husband in all his personal and professional pursuits, but she is a phenomenal mother to her three children. She supports them in their passions but beyond that, truly dedicates her time and purpose to being their mother. She jumps right in and serves wherever she is needed, as was demonstrated when she lived near me for only 11 months and immediately took an interest in me and serving me as my visiting teacher. She is the most pleasant, and genuine person you will ever meet. She truly lives the motto, "Bloom where you are planted," and because she is that person I took to heart what she taught me, one day through conversation.
She said, "I always tell myself each time I move, that this time I will not let myself get into a moving slump, and each time, no matter how hard I try, it comes anyway."
In times like these, I like to remember her saying that.
Jennie Mathisen, in all her pleasantness and genuine positiveness. She gave me the ok to allow myself that time, just to get my ducks in a row and to adjust. To be in a moving slump. To know I'll eventually come out of it, and bloom when I'm ready.
So since you added me the other day (and actually over the years I have periodically thought about it)... I've been wanting to say sorry for not getting together with you when we both loved in Miami. Courtbey had told me you were having a hard time finding friends and adjusting to south Florida and I had really wanted to be your friend! But I was dumb about it and thought I was so busy and didn't know what to do about friends that had kids as I swore I wasn't going to have any for a long long time. Fast forward one year later and I wanted kids and got pregnant and once I had that child I thought back to you, alone in a new place with a baby and needing a friend. I moved somewhere new right before I had my first child. I felt terrible. And I've always wanted to apologize for that. And now I'm realizing how much I missed out on being your friend! I think we would've had fun together dang it. Also I totally understand the moving thing as my husband joined the navy to pay for medical school and we move all the time:) hence the homeschooling as well.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that we finally connected all these years later! first and foremost please do not feel bad one second, I could have just as easily reached out if I hadn't had the same feelings on the other end, "who wants to hang with someone who has a baby?" I actually met your dad I believe, at a fireside John did in Miami. You are so unbelievable talented just as Courtney promised :) and I am just looking forward to getting to know you better. Moving around is one of the most challenging and heart breaking things I have done, but I find that no matter where I go I end up loving it:) I so admire that you are homeschooling, I don't know what our future holds in that department, but as for now, when I return to SD in two weeks, the boys will return to their school for the time being until we can sort out all of this CFL business out. Thanks for checking out the blog! I hope to one day meet you in person and give you a real life squeeze!
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